Just back from a lovely day trip to Edinburgh to visit B & Z. I'm posting a few photos and thoughts from the day.
Our alarm clocks in Ireland were set at 3.30am, flew out at 6am, in Edinburgh by 7am, yummy breakfast of Cinnamon Grahams and coffee with Z by 8.30am....
Then we left Z at Lennox St and went to see B on our own. It was the first time the girls had seen her since last June, and their impressions were interesting. It probably helps that they have grown used to the care home environment by regularly visiting Joyce's mum in a care home in Bray. So they felt that Carnethy was just fine - bright, quite spacious, and with similar types of residents to the ones that they're used to at Peggy's place. B recognised them (or seemed to, at least, although she did refer to us all as "her cousins"). B is obviously very frail physically, sitting a bit hunched up, with her false teeth missing, which makes her look worse in photos than she seemed in real life. She was in very good form, smiling a lot, giggling and laughing. She seemed contented with life generally, in as much as she can be at this stage of things.
We arrived before lunch, and stayed to help her eat. She managed fine at first, taking soup on her own with the spoon - a bit wobbly, but managing. Then she got tired, so I had to help her. She takes this help with a great deal of humour - as in this photo where she'd just tried to put her hand in the soup to take some more. "What are you doing?" I exclaimed, and she got the giggles, as we all did.... It's very sad in one way, but B is fine with it. It's just the way it is now. The photo makes it look as if B might be sad, but believe me, she was giggling heartily!
After the food, we went for a walk in the garden. B needs to be in the wheelchair all the time now, and it's a bit of a fiddle getting her in and out of that, but with Anna's help, it was easy enough.
The care home has lovely gardens and it was a glorious sunny day, so we strolled for a while.... daffodils are out now, and spring is on the way. We restocked the bird feeders with stuff that Z had given us.
B was talking to Anna and Ella, saying that her favourite place was Arthurs Seat, and it was such a lovely sunny day that I had a bit of an irrational urge to take her there. It was tricky getting her into the front seat of Z's car, but we managed. And we couldn't fit the wheelchair in, so we just went without it. So we drove up to Arthurs Seat, enjoyed the views, then came back again.
The trip was predictably dodgy on the way - B said that she needed to go to the loo, and we were miles away from any way of organising that simply. But I remembered that we were close to Elsie Inglis, another care home that we'd looked around last year. It's right beside Arthurs Seat, so we stopped there, borrowed a wheel chair, and took her in to one of their bathrooms. It was fine in the end.
Anyway, we then drove past Lennox St to drop Ella off there (she had to study), and B said "Will you stop in for some lunch?". But then she seemed contented enough when we just dropped Ella and drove back to the care home. When we got there, a nurse came out to help her go back in, and she said "Oh, there's one of the nurses I work with". So you can see - she's quite confused about many things, but not in a distressing or upset way for most of the time.
We left her there then, and went back to Lennox St for lunch with Z (warm home-baked bread with spinach soup - yummy). We called back out to B on the way to the airport. She was a bit confused again, worrying that she was "going to miss the train", but again, she wasn't unhappy or particularly distressed.
I've been finding it difficult to communicate with her when phoning recently. And when I was there, I phoned Z on her mobile to see how it was from her end. Basically, she can hear the other person, but she isn't good at talking back. So if anyone calls her, remember that she can hear you and she does appreciate it, but you'll find it difficult to get any sort of feedback. I think it may be best almost to have a prepared talk for a couple of minutes, then to say "well I have to go now", and then say goodbye. It's not satisfactory from the point of the person calling - it's a far cry from the long chatty conversations with B - but that seems to be the way it is now.
If anyone wants to comment on any of the above, or make their own observations, please do so below :-)
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